My English Composition

Three topics on my site were corrected by an English teacher. The results are shown here.

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Japanese Edition
My English Composition

Although I wrote many topics on this site to improve my English communication skill, I had difficulty in correcting my composition. I had a chance to ask Mr. O, who is an English teacher of a high school, to correct my English. He readily accepted my offer and corrected three topics; Self-introduction, Switzerland, and Canada. I have already uploaded them again. (The self-introduction was renewed on 2005.

There were lot of grammatical errors. Particularly there were many wrong uses of articles. I considered a little about "a(an)" or "the" for the singular noun. But I didn't consider to the article for the plural noun. Many of the plural nouns were lack of the article. After considering enough, I wrote the subtitles as "By a car" because I took a car, and as "By trains" becaise I took a train and changed to the other train. But he corrected them "By car" and "By train." Then I consulted a grammar book about them and found the corrections were right. Basically I think I should decrease those errors by the grammar book. But if he did not correct them, I would overlook the description in the grammar book.

There were many wrong use of the prepositions related to the verb as shown in Table 1. I think I will be able to decrease the wrong use if I consult a dictionary when I use a verb. But I arrange the subject, verb, object, and complement with all my strength to describe my thought. I easily forget to check the prepositions. So the wrong use will not decrease so easily.

The mistakes related to the sentences were shown in Table 2. I have no idea to improve these descriptions at once. I think that the correction by the English teacher is the best and the extensive reading of good books is the next best. Maybe I am too old to do it, but I will try it.

Although the teacher corrected my English without its Japanese version, his corrections were right excepting one sentence. In the sentence, I found a misuse of a word in English and a misleading expression even in its Japanese version. There were two other sentences that he said, "I could not correct." These were only marshaling of English words.

Occasionally, I think I could make myself understood in the English at the conversation class but after returning home, I think maybe my teacher misunderstood my meaning. In such case, I suppose my speech includes the wrong expressions like my compositions. Especially I have to take care of the misunderstanding with foreigners who have different common knowledge.

Contrary to the above-mentioned, I am relieved that I can make myself understood as long as the basic construction of my composition is understandable. Even if it has a few grammatical errors. Mr. O. said, "I cannot say I cannot understand your writing." When I asked an American teacher to correct my e-mail, he said that I could understand well your mail but, as an English teacher, you had some mistakes ... Unfortunately I could not use his corrections to improve my English. When I introduced my home page to another American teacher, he also said, "As an English teacher, you had some mistakes but I could easily envision the scenes you described." At that time I could not suppose that my English had so many errors.

When considering these cases, I think it is true what they said, "Don't be afraid of making mistakes when you express your opinion in English."

 

Table 1 Prepositions
Corrected Original Japanese
to arrive at their home. to arrive their home. karera no tokoro ni tochaku suru
to enter or exit from a platform. to enter to or exit from a platform. platform e dehairi suru
to fight against someone/something. to fight with someone/something. ...to tatakau
to follow the instructions. to follow to the instructions. shiji ni shitagau
to know about something. to know something. ...ni tsuite siru
to listen to and speak English. to listen and speak English. eigo wo kiitari hanashitari suru
on a Swiss Air. with a Swiss Air. suisu kokuu de
over a telephone. through a telephone. denwa de
to part from them. to part them. karera to wakareru
to point to the number plate. to point a number plate. bango huda o sasu
to respond to it. to respond it. soreni taio suru
to return home. to return to home ie ni kaeru
to say to us. to say us. wareware ni iu
to sit at the seat. to sit the seat. suwatte iru
to start for somewhere. to start to somewhere. ...ni mukatte shuppatsu suru
to suffer from jet lag. to feel jet lag. jisa-boke ni naru
the platform that the train starts from. the platform that the train start. ressha no shuppatsu homu
to travel in a foreign country. to travel foreign country. aru gaikoku wo ryokosuru

 

Table 2 Sentences
Corrected Original Notes
Self-introduction
When my retirement was drawing near, When my retirement was coming soon, "coming soon" is used for a desirable case.
Can you fill your time after retirement? Can you fill your time table for a day after retirement?  
If you find spare time. If you find any blank in the table. briefly
I had no idea how to find a favorite thing or subject. I had no idea to fill the blanks and find a favorite thing or subject. briefly
We could not think anything other than food. We could not afford to think anything other than foods. briefly & uncountable
I had not thought about the middle situation I was put in. I had not known the middle situation of them. precisely
No one knows what is lucky and what is unlucky for us until we die. I really think that I cannot know what is good and what is bad for me until my life will finish briefly
I walk around my neighborhood every day if the weather is good. I walk around my neighborhood every fine day. correctly
My doctors do not allow me to smoke and drink. My doctors do not allow my smoking and drinking. briefly & vividly
Sleeping well is the best way to keep in good health. Good sleeping is the best way to keep my health. precisely
Switzerland
Our daughter, who lives in our neighborhood, recommended that ... Our daughter living in our neighborhood recommended that ... the supplementary explanation was explicitly expressed
It was almost as if we were in Japan. It was almost as same as Japan. correctly
I could hardly hear the person say, "Go straight." I was barely able to hear that "Go straight." Who said?
hardly & barely
It was light outside at 8:00 p.m. We noticed that the sun had not set yet. The sun did not set at 8 p.m. yet correctly
We almost did not suffer from jet lag. We almost did not feel jet lag.  
a country on higher latitudes higher latitude country  
We felt as if we were in a fairyland. We felt fairyland. correctly
We can freely go in and out of a platform without showing our tickets. The station was free for entrance and exit. correctly
on the evening of the same day in the evening of the same day preposition for the specific day's evening is on, not in.
1) I was very glad that I was able to call the taxi over the telephone. I was very glad that my English was able to catch the taxi through the telephone. when faithfully correct the original; 1)

to avoid the redundancy
(the above sentence ( omitted here) were considered); 2)

2) was taken
2) I was very glad because I could make myself understood in English.
The atmosphere of Switzerland was changed to that of Japan by them. The atmosphere of Switzerland was changed to Japanese like by them. comparison of two atmospheres
Japanese announcement came after English. Japanese announcement continued to English.  
I can say it was the best view in our lives. It was the best experience for us not only in Switzerland but in our lives. not only A but B.
where; A and B must be the appositives
Canada
We wanted to go to Canada. We became to want to go Canada. the misuse: "become to + root-verb"
We couldn't have enough time to see beautiful points. We were not able to see enough the good points.  
Our memory of Butchart Gardens becomes vivid again with the help of the photos. We remember Butchart Gardens with their photos rather than our memory.  

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uploaded June 6, 2002
revised June 11, 2006